My laptop died so I pretty much had to get a new one so bye bye OLDCODEX concert in February.
Also I feel like I can’t even face them. I feel pretty damn pathetic. Drill serge will be disappointed.
I’ve been generally in pretty bad shape lately. I don’t want to talk or be a human being because when it gets to this point, I recluse a lot, I tend to solve loneliness with being alone even more. People tend to frighten me after not speaking to them for long periods of time. I draw a blank when my parents are looking for me, I literally don’t know what to say. I’m gross and ashamed and I hate myself. But hey, what’s new right? I’ve never really been on my own team. I try, but I tend to abandon myself a lot.
It’s been a rough month. There’s this hollow sound when I walk around this city and I’m not sure what it is. I can’t shake this foreboding thought where everything will amount to nothing.
Long ass meta coming up. I’m a little bit raw and emotional from episode 9, oh my god.
I appreciated Lisa’s character very much from the get-go.
The fact that Watanabe never really specifically touched on her background was such clever storytelling, because that’s how it feels when we see a child with a story like that. There’s nothing to say. It’s a hidden truth, it’s a quiet pain that is endured alone. Like peeking into some sort of dark attic window, you want to help but you can’t.
Unlike Nine or Twelve, she goes through a different sort of abandonment - something that is seemingly happy, like having a family or going to school, but the reality is that nothing is rosy, nothing is ever made that way. She was given everything, but nothing at the same time. The fact that she has no smarts, no skills, no grudge, nothing of a defense mechanism to shield from the pain is absolutely endearing to me.
If anyone comments on the fact that she is a weak character, she is absolutely not. She takes this pain in, but blames no one but herself. To endure such a thing takes more strength than you can count.
I think right from the beginning I enjoyed the dynamic between the three kids because there is always going to be a cause and effect.
Twelve was given back his humanity through this girl’s strength.
For the first time, someone told Lisa that it wasn’t her fault.
It was beautiful, but so very very heartbreaking.